Of Leaving and Being Left Behind

Even with the knowledge that life is a never-ending process of constant changes and moving on's, I still, with my sufficient understandings, do not comprehend why every single moment has to be heartbreaking. I had let opportunities pass because of my fear of abandoning ties. I threw away chances because I dread the moment when I had to watch the people who are dear to me from distances and distances away how their lives altered in many ways.

However, I, too, have to disengage from familiar harbors because even with my presence around them, their lives had shaped into many forms I cannot always keep track of. I stumbled upon a realization that I should not move and glide to the tune of their musics. That it is not wise to live on memories. I cannot always depend every trivial nor life-changing decisions on them. There will always be choices to make, paths to take and hearts to break.

And yet I am not the type of person who can get used to things in a snap of a finger. It takes time for me move on with whatever is left of what I abolish. I mourn for changed plans, forgotten promises and lost yesterdays. I break the rule by crying over spilled milk. My sentimentality often wins over my logic.

My heart twinges whenever I think of the distances and boundaries that life offers. Of the inevitable separations that have to take place. Of people slowly drifting away, way beyond our grasps. Sometimes I wonder if growing old is synonymous to growing apart. And if, with all the means we gather, we can bridge the gaps that seem to expand even more with playful time.