There's Gotta Be More to Life

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

I'm wanting more
I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sighing. Screaming. Weeping.

In a Relationship with Chick Flicks

"That's your problem. You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie." -'You've Got Mail'

Maybe I should stop watching those heart-clenching, tear-jerking, happy-ending movies. The more ideal romance I intake, the higher my expectations rise. Expectations which are never even met once by any guy. Ever. I should blame those sweet nothings from movies that tap me on the shoulder and shout, 'Hey, you'll also have a fairy tale of your own someday!". Er, yeah.

I don't know. I long for chivalry, for romantic gestures from a guy to show me how much he adores me. I yearn for a poem, a serenade, a love letter. For crying out loud. (!) That's all it takes to get me, I guess so. But have anyone thought of that yet? No. Not even one from those guys who claimed that they like me. And these are all coming from someone who is actually terrified of intimacy. But hey, I want to feel that, too. No matter how quirky and cynical I am, I still want to know how it feels to be intensely in loveeeeeeeee (an exaggeration, yes) with someone. How everything will suddenly make sense just because you've found your one true love. How every little thing will matter just because you are with him. And of course, the cheesy Valentine's Day celebrations. Ugh. How I envy those puppy-eyed gals who received roses and chocolates last V-day. So I actually bought a rose for myself, thank you very much.

I think it's great to have someone as a companion, a best friend, a confidant, an adviser and a partner in crime. 5-in-one, just those coffee ads on TV. Maybe I haven't met the right one yet. But maybe I am just extremely picky when it comes to guys. Maybe that's why I haven't had a boyfriend since birth. Oooor I can blame those dreamy movies. Well, I cannot deny that I'm reaaaally picky. But come on, it's necessary to choose, especially if that person will be the one waking up next to me every morning. That is, if I eventually want to tie the knot someday.

When someone asks me what I do like in a guy, it always take me minutes to finish my answer. And they will look at me as if I said that I love Justin Bieber. What's wrong with saying that I want someone who's kind, smart (not academically), patient, has a sense of humor, doesn't smoke, a Catholic, who shares some of my interests and looks like Chris Tiu? Okay, fineee, I'm just joking about him looking like Chris Tiu. Of course I am. Um, kind of. A bit. You see, I'm not really after someone with dashing looks but at least I should be 'inspired' whenever I see his face. Now, that's stupid. But again, blame those 'Julia Roberts movies'. That's why I will abolish all those romantic flicks. And quit my online shouju Manga reading. And avoid memorizing movie quotes that I seem to live by. And switch back to horror/suspense movies which I loved first. Nah, I'm just kidding, of course.

Note: I've just finished watching another romantic movie, just so you know.

Daydream Road

There's a moment I savor everyday
Where everyone around me just fades away
All around me is a blur, a wonderful kind of blur
And where three things stay
The wind, the music and you.

One Smile And I Melt

You, who can see yet chooses to leave blindly

We go around in circles, at all costs avoiding clarity

In the deepest of my feelings you waltz in and out

Will you ever give me something worthwhile to think about?

I shall abandon the tales of my hoping and wishing
Because all the words we both utter are left hanging
I pushed myself into taking risks and chances
But there was nothing but your unsettling silence.

Because my feelings keep wavering from the start,
I might as well tell my heart to make a halt
But every time I see your face in my mind
Once again, I surrender to your smile.