Warang Taytol

How I grew impatient and short-tempered, I do not know. I have a tiny fear that these unlikeable traits of mine are sometimes hurting some people around me. And I feel remorseful about that. But the thing is, I honestly feel that being a grumpy fellow does me good in some weird way. I don't know, it just sometimes feels all right to be in the corner of pettishness. It doesn't make sense and that's what I want it to be.

Mayhap?

I'm having second thoughts.

Well, when was I ever sure of anything anyway?

I've always been fickle and indecisive when it comes to making decisions.

But boy, I want it. And I need it.

It will be a chance for me to stand on my own two feet.

To feel that I'm a grown-up who is not dependent on my mother.

To prove that I can manage being alone in a foreign country.

I know that if I'll ever let the opportunity pass, it'll be one of the biggest regrets I'll ever have.

I'm just thinking, wondering if I can really do it.

But how will I ever know if I will not try, right?

Dear,

If I ever have any friends, I can't feel their existence now.

Wallowing in Despair

I feel like my heart is stabbed,
Repeatedly, rhythmically,
When I realized how lonely I am.

Every not-so-sad song makes me want to wail,

Every little memory brings a pang to my heart.

And my wicked heart is filled with jealousy,

As I watch the whole world beaming around me.